You know that slow motion nostalgic memory you have in your head?
Of summer suns and its yellow lights
Of rustling leaves and evening breeze
Like a faded sephia photograph tucked away in your closet somewhere
Like the world has stopped for you for a good ten seconds
In that moment, I see everything in detail
How the grasshoppers hopped on from one leaf to another
Or the sounds of your own footsteps against the black asphalt
Tune of the piano playing ever so faintly
I feel that at times
I look at some things and I'd have a quick flashbacks
I can't quite grasp how I feel about these moments
I can't even begin to put it into words
All it gave was a lingering feeling which paralyzes me in the longest state of daydreaming
It's like this
Smiling, as you're drenched in the rain on a dark cloudy day
Sipping a warm cup of tea on the coldest day of winter
Painting your nails black for a celebration
Crying in relief, for your past mistakes
Right. I guess that's it, then?
It's that exact feeling when you found out that you've made some grave mistakes
And you're sad
And you’re sorry
But you can't really regret them.
You can't allow yourself to feel the pang of regret because once you allow yourself to feel it, you'd know how messed up everything really is.
But you see the end of the tunnel amidst the chaos,
-- and you know there's hope.