I arrived at the salon at two in the morning. To my surprise, it was cramped with people and true to my horror, they couldn’t spare time to wash my sad oily hair. Then, the make up was done with me laying down on the very chair they use to wash your hair (see the irony?). When it was finally over, I looked in the mirror. And I smiled (read: screamed). I went through the day, feeling crappy because my scalp was itchy, the make up was a disaster and the dress was not figure-complementing in any way. I tried my best to be there for my friend, but I remember thinking how much I wanted to go home and be rid of everything. I was happy for my friend, but I realized that I haven't been too kind at myself.
So, I'm here to help you, Bridesmaids-to-be! Let's start from the first phase.
"Are you willing to be my Bridesmaid?"
When asked the big question, it is necessary to ask yourself if you want to do it. Don't do it out of courtesy. It is a tough role and the goal is to support your friend - to celebrate their happiness and to share in their sufferings. Exactly, their sufferings. Lucky for us, in Indonesia, most of the difficult tasks are done by the Wedding Organizer. However, the tasks at hand still require you to be present and quick to your feet, to smile with your fake eyelashes poking the edge of your eyeballs. It is a full day activity, so it will drain your energy. Do it because you have shared that friendship with them, and are willing to bathe in joyful companion with them in the future.
Now, can you actually do it?
Depending on your background, there are reasons as to why you had to, unfortunately, decline the offer. Your family tradition may not allow you to be a Bridesmaid more than three times, or you are pre-occupied with urgent matters at hand. Avoid misunderstandings due to poor communication skills. The Bride is requesting you to be a part of one of the most memorable event of her life - it is a big deal. Let them know that you would need some time to make sure your schedules clear out. If, after said-time you decided to decline, prepare your reasons and be sure to convey them clearly. I have had to decline an offer from one of my closest friends and as much as it pained me to do so, it is best for us if I cheer from the sideline 100%, rather than pushing it to happen. Remember, you are also a hero of your own story. Be sure that when you agree to be one, you are not sabotaging your own life plans. Sacrifice, but prioritize.
Now that you know what to consider before becoming one, you are ready for the preparations!